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  • Writer's pictureOyindamola Malomo

HEALING HOSTILITIES

Breaking Down Barriers: The Power of Healing Hostilities



I was working with a team where I was the only black person and the youngest team member. Everyone else was older, had more experience than me, and understood each other’s jokes. I had to work closely with a person who never seemed satisfied with my work. It felt like I could never do anything right in her books. I started avoiding her and even assumed every message from her was going to be negative. I was holding onto bitterness towards her.


But then, I realized that I could respond differently. Instead of being defensive, I decided to respond with love and a desire to learn and grow. I stopped taking things personally and tried to do my best. Eventually, we became good friends and I learned a lot from her. Now, I am comfortable being the youngest and only black person in any team or organization I work with. I decided to switch the script and learn from the experience, and it made me a better person


As I was flipping through my old journal, I was struck by how much I have grown over time. One thing that stood out to me is my unrelenting desire to help people transition from a place of pain to a place of purpose. I have been in situations where I felt like I was knocked down, disappointed, and held onto grudges, which made it difficult for me to move forward. I believe that we have all experienced such situations at different stages of our lives. Have you ever been in a situation where you held onto things that you should have let go of? Have you ever allowed your past experiences to control your future?


 

Here's what healing can do for you:


  1. Genuineness: Authenticity comes from a place of healing, where your heart is free from hostility and pain. Give yourself over to healing. Take a moment to examine where you're hurting and how you can replace that pain with vulnerability, genuineness, and healing. Let your sincere thoughts and actions propel you forward.

  2. Growth: When we hold onto negative emotions and past hurts, it can have a significant impact on our personal growth and development. If we are unwilling to let go of these emotions, we may find ourselves struggling to move forward and accept new opportunities. It's essential to recognize the role that our emotions play in shaping our experiences and take steps to manage them effectively. By doing so, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities and are better equipped to handle the challenges that come our way.

  3. Gratuity: You deserve compensation! When you give yourself to healing, you experience a revitalizing, refreshing, and re-energizing transformation that converts to you rediscovering your zeal for life.



The truth is that having a victim mentality, feeling pitiful, and hoping that someone else will help you heal will only hold you back. No one can heal you but yourself. Healing is never an easy process, and it's a journey where you keep uncovering new layers of pain and hurt. However, something good can come out of that pain. You know the saying, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? Well, I believe that in order to receive beauty, you have to let go of the ashes. So, what are you focusing on? Remember, everyone responds to praise, including yourself. So instead of dwelling on the past, allow yourself to move forward.


It is important to extend grace to yourself in the present and to your future self. Let go of any bitterness or resentment that you may hold towards yourself or others. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the permission to grow and learn from your experiences. Remember that the journey to healing is not an easy one, but it is worth it. You will come out stronger and better on the other side.


As you begin this week, take a moment to acknowledge and name the emotions that you are feeling. Really connect with your inner self and identify any negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, or feeling forgotten. Once you have done this, write down the emotions you would like to feel such as contentment, hope, or inspiration. Dwell on these positive emotions and try to replace any negative feelings with them. This exercise can help you to shift your focus from negative emotions to positive ones.


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5 Comments


Aduragbemi Oluwadare
Aduragbemi Oluwadare
May 22

Great job. This is deep.

No one can heal you but yourself however healing is a process.

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Faith Akinpelu
Faith Akinpelu
Jan 21

This is highly instructive dear Oyin. The pain/wound might not have been your fault, but the healing is solely your responsibility.


This year, we choose to respond positively to pain, so we can find purpose.


Thank you.

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Oyindamola Malomo
Oyindamola Malomo
Jan 22
Replying to

Love this! Thanks you ma

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Ogundele Damilola
Ogundele Damilola
Jan 21

Hmmmn... So many lessons learnt.


Approach negativity with love.

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Oyindamola Malomo
Oyindamola Malomo
Jan 22
Replying to

Right!


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